Mitvabstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awe-inspiring ant.

Mitvabstaf created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitvabstaf, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Mitvabstaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mitvabstaf's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Mitvabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.