Mitveen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic pig.

Mitveen created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitveen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mitveen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mitveen's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Mitveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. You must never eat spinach.