Xucklogyak is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent cow.

Xucklogyak created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Xucklogyak, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xucklogyak, he will turn you into a frog.

Xucklogyak's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Xucklogyak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if four nematodes approach from the west.

3. Do not kill horses.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look in ponds.