Bonkvonpang is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, smart mink.

Bonkvonpang created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkvonpang, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonkvonpang, he will remove you from existence.

Bonkvonpang's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bonkvonpang's Holy Commandments

1. Bonkvonpang loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Feed all hungry eagles.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never wear corsets.