Metbutfob is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-confident goose.

Metbutfob created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Metbutfob, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Metbutfob, it will turn you into a dog.

Metbutfob's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Metbutfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention voles.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about dark matter near ducks while wearing black boots and balancing seven nickel spheres on your back.

5. Do not covet oxen.