Vonkcabflag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, boastful jellyfish.

Vonkcabflag created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcabflag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vonkcabflag, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vonkcabflag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vonkcabflag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Vonkcabflag loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Never leap in the presence of tapirs.

5. Never paint your legs black.