Sugbeptom is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-powerful dolphin.

Sugbeptom created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sugbeptom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sugbeptom, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sugbeptom's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Sugbeptom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Do not dye your hair green.