Arpvoggeb is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic mongoose.

Arpvoggeb created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpvoggeb, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpvoggeb, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Arpvoggeb's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Arpvoggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Arpvoggeb loves snakes, so they must be respected.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. You must pray to Arpvoggeb five times a day.