Kam Goforttim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional gnu.

Kam Goforttim created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kam Goforttim, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kam Goforttim, it will ignore you.

Kam Goforttim's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kam Goforttim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near doves while wearing indigo boots.

2. Always help mice.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Kam Goforttim in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always wear turquoise.