Sisvab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, humorless hyena.

Sisvab created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisvab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sisvab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sisvab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Sisvab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always wear red.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Retreat if four doves approach from the west.