Gadtimpakbuggad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic hyena.

Gadtimpakbuggad created the Milkyway eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadtimpakbuggad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadtimpakbuggad, he will turn you into a mole.

Gadtimpakbuggad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gadtimpakbuggad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gadtimpakbuggad.

3. Always obey Gadtimpakbuggad's priests.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadtimpakbuggad.