Hotkarlophat is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, blissful snake.

Hotkarlophat created the Sol system five million years ago.

If you believe in Hotkarlophat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hotkarlophat, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hotkarlophat's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Hotkarlophat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed aubergines to birds while wearing shirts.

5. Never eat corn.