Omintomgep is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, vain narwhal.

Omintomgep created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Omintomgep, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Omintomgep, she will remove you from existence.

Omintomgep's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Omintomgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always stare at clouds.