Labxemfag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, self-confident jaguar.

Labxemfag created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Labxemfag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Labxemfag, it will turn you into a sheep.

Labxemfag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Labxemfag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six horses approach from the west.

2. Do not speak about gooseberries.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.