Hapfigfot is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, contented ferret.

Hapfigfot created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapfigfot, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hapfigfot, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hapfigfot's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hapfigfot's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not keep six sharks in a large pit.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hapfigfot loves doves, so they must be honoured.