Mipkarmobfud Kipcam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, compassionate bird.

Mipkarmobfud Kipcam created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipkarmobfud Kipcam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mipkarmobfud Kipcam, she will send you a sign.

Mipkarmobfud Kipcam's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Mipkarmobfud Kipcam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Put Mipkarmobfud Kipcam first in all things.

4. Never run near doves.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near birds while wearing brown stockings and balancing five zinc spheres on your face.