Omttabfom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless raccoon.

Omttabfom created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Omttabfom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Omttabfom, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Omttabfom's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Omttabfom's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Never feed apples to monkeys while wearing green shorts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Omttabfom.

5. Do not stand on grass.