Dubgamort is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, caring aardvark.

Dubgamort created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubgamort, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dubgamort, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dubgamort's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dubgamort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Dubgamort in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never pour water over plants.