Kimdabjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sage rat.

Kimdabjarn created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimdabjarn, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kimdabjarn, he will turn you into a worm.

Kimdabjarn's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Kimdabjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always obey Kimdabjarn's priests.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.