Gidpastom is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, emotional dog.

Gidpastom created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidpastom, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gidpastom, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gidpastom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gidpastom's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ducks.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to horses while wearing black kilts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gidpastom.

5. Always treat swans with great respect.