Hotwotgad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, quiet goblin.

Hotwotgad created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotwotgad, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hotwotgad, she will turn you into a mole.

Hotwotgad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hotwotgad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes in need.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hotwotgad.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.