Fodcublin Fudgutvog is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, confident tapir.

Fodcublin Fudgutvog created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodcublin Fudgutvog, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fodcublin Fudgutvog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fodcublin Fudgutvog's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Fodcublin Fudgutvog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Never wear indigo skirts.