Japtammap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish hyena.

Japtammap created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japtammap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japtammap, he will turn you into a duck.

Japtammap's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Japtammap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Japtammap five times a day.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hurt moths.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not hurt manatees.