Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, calm tapir.

Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun, he will have a low opinion of you.

Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ortrenkapquillnartvanmegfun.