Cussyatwat is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking faun.

Cussyatwat created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cussyatwat, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cussyatwat, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cussyatwat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cussyatwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Pray towards the east.