Gighomfum Daplimquart Jenfobmin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, passionate manatee.

Gighomfum Daplimquart Jenfobmin created water four years ago.

If you believe in Gighomfum Daplimquart Jenfobmin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gighomfum Daplimquart Jenfobmin, he will turn you into a snail.

Gighomfum Daplimquart Jenfobmin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gighomfum Daplimquart Jenfobmin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Never talk about doves.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.