Gadqueegspag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, cheerful raven.

Gadqueegspag created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadqueegspag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gadqueegspag, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gadqueegspag's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gadqueegspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from orange geese, for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.