Sawsadgil is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witty human.

Sawsadgil created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Sawsadgil, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sawsadgil, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sawsadgil's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sawsadgil's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green rats for they are unholy.

2. Do not keep eight gulls in a large pit.

3. Sawsadgil loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing red rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your face.

5. Never eat bark.