Dutbimart Vogdoggar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast grasshopper.

Dutbimart Vogdoggar created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutbimart Vogdoggar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dutbimart Vogdoggar, he will curse you with boils.

Dutbimart Vogdoggar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dutbimart Vogdoggar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dutbimart Vogdoggar.

2. Always help sick moths.

3. Never feed grapes to eagles while wearing blue rings.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.