Larn Sugarntonbigquim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humane turtle.

Larn Sugarntonbigquim created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larn Sugarntonbigquim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Larn Sugarntonbigquim, she will think nothing of it.

Larn Sugarntonbigquim's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Larn Sugarntonbigquim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never mention tapirs.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Run away if eight cats approach from the east.