Flapvigdin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical eagle.

Flapvigdin created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapvigdin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flapvigdin, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flapvigdin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Flapvigdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about asteroids.