Fatsomban is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic sheep.

Fatsomban created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatsomban, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatsomban, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fatsomban's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fatsomban's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing yellow stockings and balancing six tin spheres on your neck.