Lopflabablabrullogmon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, stupid elephant.

Lopflabablabrullogmon created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopflabablabrullogmon, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lopflabablabrullogmon, it will torture you forever.

Lopflabablabrullogmon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Lopflabablabrullogmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lopflabablabrullogmon's priests.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Worship no other gods but Lopflabablabrullogmon.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Lopflabablabrullogmon in the centre of the settlement.