Gunbemquim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical hydra.

Gunbemquim created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbemquim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gunbemquim, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gunbemquim's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gunbemquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Feed all hungry foxes.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Run away from black snakes, for they are unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick frogs.