Zenzog is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonourable jaguar.

Zenzog created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zenzog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zenzog, he will destroy your home solar system.

Zenzog's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Zenzog's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near swans while wearing green coats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the west.

5. Run away if three badgers approach from the east.