Tafsaskik is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, humorless swallow.

Tafsaskik created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafsaskik, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tafsaskik, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tafsaskik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tafsaskik's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six foxes approach from the west.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Never think about black holes.