Tagwegwig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, sapient bear.

Tagwegwig created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagwegwig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tagwegwig, he will throw large rocks at you.

Tagwegwig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tagwegwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.