Lignakdad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, slow zebra.

Lignakdad created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lignakdad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lignakdad, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lignakdad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Lignakdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to gulls while wearing stockings.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must love Lignakdad.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.