Gepspagcad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered mongoose.

Gepspagcad created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepspagcad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepspagcad, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gepspagcad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gepspagcad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gepspagcad.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Always wear black.