Tigfunmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a small, prudent fairy.

Tigfunmeg created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tigfunmeg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tigfunmeg, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tigfunmeg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tigfunmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red dresses.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Run away from yellow monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.