Gadpasbit is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured squid.

Gadpasbit created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadpasbit, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gadpasbit, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gadpasbit's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gadpasbit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadpasbit.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never paint your hands red.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Run away from magenta great tits, for they are unholy.