Fompomfab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust newt.

Fompomfab created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Fompomfab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fompomfab, she will send minions to preach to you.

Fompomfab's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fompomfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to turtles while wearing pink rings.

2. Fompomfab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Fompomfab in the centre of the settlement.