Timkimbed is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonest rat.

Timkimbed created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timkimbed, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Timkimbed, he will turn you into a snail.

Timkimbed's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Timkimbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.