Citpodven is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, overgenerous bee.

Citpodven created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citpodven, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Citpodven, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Citpodven's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Citpodven's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to porpoises while wearing pink trousers.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Citpodven.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Always pray immersed in water.