Jampagcapbon Vonkhonzodlag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless wombat.

Jampagcapbon Vonkhonzodlag created parasitic wasps twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jampagcapbon Vonkhonzodlag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jampagcapbon Vonkhonzodlag, it will be very unhappy.

Jampagcapbon Vonkhonzodlag's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Jampagcapbon Vonkhonzodlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Feed all hungry hamsters.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.