Mappitpas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, blissful crane.

Mappitpas created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mappitpas, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mappitpas, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Mappitpas' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Mappitpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not hurt monkeys.

3. Mappitpas loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Mappitpas in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not eat strawberries.