Garzakpon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, prudent lion.

Garzakpon created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Garzakpon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Garzakpon, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Garzakpon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Garzakpon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near whales while wearing pink skirts and balancing six carbon spheres on your back.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about special relativity near badgers while wearing mauve scarves and balancing eight nickel spheres on your legs.