Nak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, annoying crane.

Nak created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nak, it will laugh at you.

Nak's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Nak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.