Tiphatlak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, sage crow.

Tiphatlak created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Tiphatlak, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tiphatlak, he will turn you into a mole.

Tiphatlak's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tiphatlak's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tiphatlak.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Hide from cyan capybaras for they are unholy.

5. Never mention gulls.