Femvidjancit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest aardvark.

Femvidjancit created dark energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femvidjancit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Femvidjancit, she will jump up and down on your head.

Femvidjancit's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Femvidjancit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near tapirs while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing nine silver spheres on your chest.